My husband left me in June of 1996 and died in Oct. 2000. The woman he left me for, he had been seeing for 15+ years off and on. What that woman didn't know, was that she was one of at least four others I know of.
I put a lot of stock in my marriage vows, which apparently was not in my husbands make-up. He was married before me -= and cheated on that wife, but in my way of thinking - he loved me enough, that would never be an issue.
He left on the day our youngest graduated from high school. His thinking was he wouldn't have to pay child support. He sent me $150/week for nine weeks - then nothing. I had the sole responsibility of all the bills and the mortgage. I never begged him for a damn thing. Our son was in an expensive college, and my husband was the type to sit on a bar stool and BRAG about his intelligent son - yet lent not one single dollar for that education or support.
I worked two jobs to give my son a lousy $50-$70 week to spend. If I had more - it went to my son.
The hard part, is after my husband passed away - his family is still staying in contact with that bimbo (huge and UGLY). NONE of them realize that that woman meant no more to him than the ones he left behind. The other women live close by, and I know that he was in contact with them, at least three weeks before he died. But dipshit - still thinks she was the ONLY one. What a loser mentality.
My son now has some of these family members as his friends on Facebook, and I saw that they also have the bimbo on there. Egads...what idiots. Even my husbands family had/have no idea what a pathological liar and cheat he really was. His only concerns at any given time - were all selfish. His needs had to be fulfilled, and cheating and lying was his way of life.
When my husband left me, I went through the normal stages of grief, mad, self-pity...but managed to get over that hurdle quite quickly when I found out all that I did. The dumb ass - set up housekeeping near MY nieces. I knew everything he was doing. Plus the fact that I made trips to the hometown frequently and saw him often.
Eight years later and I still manage to get upset. I have my kids and grandchildren which is more than enough to keep me happy. More than my late husband ever appreciated. Life goes on, I have a wonderful life, and I'm happy. My great kids make all the difference in the world.
My son has no love for his father - he saw and heard too much to ever change that opinion. So if his aunts or uncles would ever try to change that feeling - they are in for a rude awakening. Oh, and they don't even want to bring anything up to my daughter...she will chew them up and spit them out! Amazing how a single person can instill that much animosity.
I feel better - just getting this out. My husband may have had other women - but I have my children, which I love and appreciate every beating moment.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
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4 comments:
You are sooooo right, so much of what you've written here, we've lived as well. In the end, you and I are the lucky ones, we have the love and respect of those kids we raised on our own. Not much else matters.
I have two exes. Both still living. While both sound like your ex on one level or another I have tried really hard to get along with both of them. Of course they both left when their child (I have one child per husband) was only an infant. I'm the one kids trust. I'm the one they know they can count on. I'm the one they love best.
Amazing that his family still keeps in touch with the bimbo, given that YOU are the mother of his children. (I'm assuming he had none with her?)
Kudos to you for all you did to take care of your son in college. I hope you focus on the fact that you have his - and your daughter's - love and respect. You literally have the last laugh on your ex.
It pains me to read that you still get upset after all this time. I hope you can rid yourself of these feelings. Letting go of that is so important. I note that you never refer to him as your ex-husband. Only "my husband." I question whether he was ever anyone's.
Would love your thoughts on my post from yesterday. I think you might get a kick out of the video clip.
all sounds so familiar..wonder if there is an asshole gene?...
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